Saturday 3 May 2014

Father Asked, 'Ready To Marry?'

WARNING: Do not read the post if you’re an engineer.

23rd year running, I have apparently hit the age to embrace marital bliss. Blithely unaware of this truth of life, I was tinkering with my Master’s degree project. Then enters my father into the room and sits himself beside me, his eyes shining peculiarly and forehead sweating profusely. My sixth sense sends me high alert signals and screams ‘RUN AWAY!’
Suddenly puzzled with my intuition I look at my father as he opens his mouth to deliver the blow.
‘We’ve been receiving proposals for you. Marriage proposals.’
All my life, I had thought, whenever this topic would be raised in my family, I’d be laughing so hard that I’d not be able to talk. But the time has come and all it has brought with it is not mirth but shock. MARRIAGE PROPOSALS! Already!? 
‘So?’ I have no idea which arrogant part of my brain was operational at that time, ‘I have been receiving proposals too. Relationship proposals.’
I guess that fairly shut him up for a while. I cannot say he could have seen it coming. But hey, he started it! Although somewhere in the back of my mind it was slowly registering there was no competition going on here.
‘Do you like someone? Do you have somebody in your mind?’ He asked without a trace of disapproval. Good question, I’d say. Fair enough. Most of my friends would kill to be asked this question by their fathers. As things go unfairly, I lack a boyfriend. While I toyed with the idea of telling him (shocking him more like) who all are actually in my mind (it would come to a large total of two digit number if I throw in the celebrity crushes) I know that was not what he meant. Like the good girl I usually pretend to be (not to give my parents heart attacks everyday) I bobbled my head to a ‘no’ while silently I added, ‘Not yet!’
The nitwit who set off this idea in my father’s brain, the prospective groom, is apparently an engineer. ‘ENGINEER!’ I cried out involuntarily!
The scatter brain will have no idea or respect towards research.
He would not understand my jokes on Physics.
Being an engineer, he couldn’t find himself a girl to marry already which clearly says a lot about his personality.
Probably he’s happy working like a cattle, drinking himself dead and cracking intellectually cheap jokes all day and night.
If not anything else, he’d be rotting in Bengaluru, Chennai or Hyderabad and settle there and die. At best he’d get himself shipped to US and settle there and die. What a rich death!
While I realise my stereotypes are clouding my judgement (I mean no offense to engineers and I appreciate their contribution to the enhancement of our world!), I sure as hell do not want to marry one. Not a doctor either, the other supposedly best profession a prospective groom can have. When I was a kid, all my friends were studying hard to get into either an engineering college or a medical one. I was no exception. I ended up in science though and now I know I made hell of a good choice for myself. I cannot begin to imagine the extent of incompatibility issues that will arise.

Since in our society education is considered as a means to occupation, I cannot radically alter my parents’ arguments. Although my vehement ‘NO!’ I am sure, shall put him off for a couple of more years, I hope to find a middle ground where both of us can bargain on a single groom to satisfy all. Tough job ahead!